Whippet Bean and Golden Retriever Abbey, my pets peeve pet peeves tonight.
Retriever Abbey fakes deafness. Sounds like a news headline. Either she fakes it, or it comes and goes. For example. She may be rolling in the dirt, scratching her back without a care. Us, on the other, are thrown into a panic. She may be enjoying the scratch and roll, but that means back-breaking bath for us. We yell, stomp our feet, whistle, clap… useless. She doesn’t hear a thing. It’s doggy trance for her. It’s not until we pull out the megaphone that she snaps to attention..”Who, what? Me? What’d I do?…. shit.. I’m in trouble again.”
Yeah, she can’t hear a lick when she doesn’t want to. Drop a piece of tasty food on the floor in a different room and there you have a different story. Our heffalump-retriever never gets so lite on her paws.
Whippet Bean, if it’s about food, cheese and chicken in particular, she’s all about it. She’s so good, you can think the word cheese, start walking to the fridge and Bean get’s ready to pose; pose pretty, beg pose, whatever will earn her a piece (or package) of cheese.
Here’s why my pets are peeving me tonight (and many others). Why is it that the two of these dogs never have to go out at the same time? Whippet Bean will whine and whimper to be let out, Retriever Abbey lays there like she can’t hear a thing. I get up to let Whippet Bean out and I have to tell Retriever Abbey to move away from the door three times before she hears me (yeah, right) and drags her heffalump butt out of the way. Whippet Bean goes out, does her business, checks out a fresh pile of rabbit offerings and makes a quick run around the yard (whippets are fast so it really is a quick run).
We’ve trained her well. Whippet Bean knows how to knock on the door. If only we could get her to do it quietly. Up to let the whippet in, sit back down at the computer (that’s our common seat, all of us web friends, isn’t it?).
Retriever Abbey gets up, wanders to the door and sits, staring holes, sending mental telepathy “i need to go out”…. I try to ignore it, I mean, WHY didn’t she just go? “i need to go really bad”… WHY now? Why not 5 minutes ago when I let Whippet Bean out to begin with? “really, i need to go. i think there might be more rabbit offerings. i’m hungry. i’m itchy. i need to pee.”
Ugh. And she won’t even knock to come back in.
